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Blurring Lines - Saving the Vorwuls since 3289
...in a cage!
turps33
turps33
Blurring Lines
Title: Blurring Lines
Fandom: Bandom- My Chemical Romance
Characters: Mikey and Gerard Way
Summary: In which Gerard draws what he needs.

Written for crowgirl13 who gave me the most wonderful gift in return. A poem that jumps off from this story, and is beautiful in both language and meaning.

I know some people are wary of poetry but it's the perfect accompaniment to this. So go and read, take in, feel. You won't regret it. Negative Space




Gerard arrives back from work. Drops his bag to the floor, kicks off his shoes, digs out a pizza from the freezer and sips coffee as it nukes.

He eats at the small kitchen table, radio on for company, opens bills and pushes them to one side to join the ever increasing pile. He's on the verge of eviction, has already lost heat and he knows the electricity will be the next thing to go.

Sometimes he suspects he should care.

Dinner over, he puts his plate in the sink -- joining the others that are already stacked there -- drinks more coffee and finally, allows himself to go to his bedroom.

His sketch book is lying on his bed and he crawls onto the messy covers, pulling them up over his knees. Gerard reaches for his supplies, the finest pencils and pens, an eraser that fits perfectly between his fingers. He touches them all, preparing himself before opening the page.

Each time it feels like the final step home.

Mikey's drawn on the page, perfection built up line by painstaking line. The barest hint of a smile, eyes alight, hat pulled low and ridiculous hair. Each new line, new graduated shade, Mikey becomes more real.

Gerard can feel him, talks about his day as he sketches in long legs and knock-knees.

Sometimes he imagines Mikey talks back. Wisps of words from an unfinished mouth. Moves his fingers close to Gerard's, tilts his head so he can see.

Gerard says, "Soon." And he works faster. Adds in a love for comic books, dry humour and dorky laugh. A slim waist and hips, a passion for music and loyalty that never wavers. Everything that Gerard is and wants to be.

It's not always perfection. A slip of his hand and there's a black smudge over Mikey's eyes. Angry one day, Gerard's careless and scores in temper with his usual lines.

But usually, it's everything Gerard loves. And each night he settles down to sleep, the sketch book open at his side. Says, goodnight, and pretends he hears it in return.

~~~~

Gerard wakes, opens his eyes and yawns. The sketch book has moved overnight, slipped close and Gerard carefully rolls over, blankets tangling tight around his legs. He rests his fingertips over Mikey's hand, says good morning, enjoying this time -- long lazy moments before facing the realities of the day.

Eventually, reluctantly, Gerard closes the book and sets it safely away.

~~~~

Hours at work -- cups of bitter coffee, a sandwich made of peanut butter and stale bread, time spent on drawings that mean nothing at all -- and Gerard finally returns home.

He drops his bag to the floor, kicks off his shoes, digs out a pizza from the freezer and sips coffee as it nukes.

He eats at the small table. Sorts through his mail. Junk to one side, adds another red letter to the pile. Gerard shivers and curls up his hands, pulls on a hoodie and drinks more coffee. Considers washing up but instead puts his plate with the others in the sink.

Vows to himself he'll wash them tomorrow.

It's then Gerard goes to his bedroom, the realities of the day slipping away as he crawls on his bed and burrows under the covers. He reaches for his pens, his pencils, lays them out carefully at his side then picks up his sketch book.

Opening it he's confronted with bare gut-twisting space.

Unbelieving, Gerard frantically flips past every page. When he reaches the end he goes back to the beginning and starts again. There are other sketches, indistinct figures and scenes, but no Mikey. It's like he was never there at all.

Shaking, Gerard lets the sketchbook fall and it slides to the floor, the pages creased against the ground. Head in his hands he closes his eyes, then hears a sound. Soft breathing in the quiet of the room.

Gerard opens his eyes and sees Mikey.

Mikey who's walking close.

Mikey who's alive.

Gerard scrambles out of bed, and reaches for him, holds on, and Mikey's everything he wanted and more.

Tags: ,

26 mutant blasts or blast me
Comments
imsinkingfast From: imsinkingfast Date: October 17th, 2008 08:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
Freakin' hell woman! *starts the sob-fest* Now I have to clean my glasses 'cause they have tear smudges on them *grumbles* *smooch*
turps33 From: turps33 Date: October 17th, 2008 09:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
It's okay, things will be fine! Eventually *g*

You need to read T's follow up poem, that's the heart-breaker.

Thank you <3
From: turlough Date: October 17th, 2008 09:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
This is even more lovely than the earlier snippet!!
turps33 From: turps33 Date: October 17th, 2008 09:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!

I went in and gave it a polish, it was nice distraction from dying by the plague *g*
crowgirl13 From: crowgirl13 Date: October 17th, 2008 09:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oooo look! It got tidied.
*hugs fic close*

I love this so much! My heart aches for Gerard and his life apathy. The care that he takes with his supplies and private art is such a strong contrast, you can *feel* the solace and longing in the words.

I still clap gleefullly at the end. :D

Lovely fic, Terri. Thank you.
*lifts coffee mug in salute*
turps33 From: turps33 Date: October 17th, 2008 09:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
It did, and I'm so pleased it still works for you.

Apathy is the perfect description for Gerard in this. But then he gets his Mikey.

No, thank you
arsenicjade From: arsenicjade Date: October 18th, 2008 02:53 am (UTC) (Link)
Gerard without Mikey in ANY WAY makes me sad. I'm glad he comes to Gerard.
turps33 From: turps33 Date: October 18th, 2008 05:34 am (UTC) (Link)
Me too! Them being without each other means my universe is wrong!

Thank you <3
gottalovev From: gottalovev Date: October 18th, 2008 03:05 am (UTC) (Link)
hi! I'm a friend of T (isn't she amazing?) and to read her poem I had to come here first she said, and that I did. the fic is absolutely gorgeous! I love the repetition of when he comes home, and the love he has for his sketch of Mickey. beautiful!
turps33 From: turps33 Date: October 18th, 2008 05:36 am (UTC) (Link)
T is brilliant.

Thank you so much for coming and reading, and for commenting. I'm glad you enjoyed.
escherzo From: escherzo Date: October 18th, 2008 03:25 am (UTC) (Link)
Aaaaah *flail* I love this so, so much.
turps33 From: turps33 Date: October 18th, 2008 05:36 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! <3
(Deleted comment)
turps33 From: turps33 Date: October 18th, 2008 01:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you :)

I can imagine Mikey has a heck of a temper when he wants. I wouldn't want to be at the other end of one of his glares.
magdalyna From: magdalyna Date: October 18th, 2008 05:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
This is fantastic. So meloncholy and desparate.
turps33 From: turps33 Date: October 19th, 2008 05:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm glad you liked. Thank you for telling me so.
lassieoshea From: lassieoshea Date: October 19th, 2008 04:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
This is really lovely. Oh, Ways!
turps33 From: turps33 Date: October 19th, 2008 05:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ways ♥

I love them so.

Thank you :)
From: fluffyfolfie Date: October 19th, 2008 05:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
Omg! D: This gave me shivers. I love it!
turps33 From: turps33 Date: October 19th, 2008 05:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you so much :D
frausorge From: frausorge Date: October 21st, 2008 07:37 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh *wow*, Terri. That's gorgeous! I love how you completed this, the repetition that both underscores the bleakness of Gerard's life and sets up the contrast of Mikey's appearance, and also the sense that the Mikey drawing is his refuge, not just at home but safely curled up in bed, and how he touches all the art supplies before he starts drawing, a tactile reassurance and affection. And then how Mikey's appearance draws him at least a little out of the safe boundary again! And the subtle blurring of affection and attraction also. Amazing.
turps33 From: turps33 Date: October 21st, 2008 06:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
You're so incredibly good to me. That you read and get what I've written. It means so much. I really love those two so much and think about their relationship often. They make me happy.

As do you with such lovely feedback.

Thank you <3
yami_tai From: yami_tai Date: October 21st, 2008 06:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
I loved this! Gerard despairing, not able to deal with his RL, but eventually getting everything that he needs to carry on. Beautiful, thanks for sharing ^_^!
turps33 From: turps33 Date: October 21st, 2008 06:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm so thrilled you read!

Thank you so much, I'm so glad you liked <3
paperdollkisses From: paperdollkisses Date: May 5th, 2009 07:04 am (UTC) (Link)
I know I've read this before but not commented. I love this piece. It's raw and emotional with a perfect ending.
turps33 From: turps33 Date: May 5th, 2009 09:22 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you so much.

This was a fun story to write, in the way it didn't take long and I just went for it. I'm so glad you enjoyed.
26 mutant blasts or blast me